Sign up & get access to our mindfulness stories right in your inbox! Subscribe now
blog

A mindful partnership: Turning me into we

Article by: avantaridhyana
Written on 2021-02-08T11:58:49+00:00

Relationships are fragile. The great poet Kabir says the thread of love if once broken is hard to join and even if it is, a knot always remains. But as anyone who has been in a long-term relationship can attest fighting is an inevitable part of it. Often fights begin with really small things, petty quarrels that then escalate into major arguments. At one point neither party can remember what the original tussle was all about and it’s too late to back down. Our egos are at stake now. This is where mindfulness acts as a gamechanger for relationships.  

Mindfulness eliminates escalation by helping us take a pause. A pause helps us evaluate our default response which comes from a defensive place and instead it helps us respond from a place of detachment and empathy. Instead of going, “Oh, you always do this…” mindfulness helps us realize, “Oh, you’ve had a terrible day, but let’s not ruin our evening.” This itself is a powerful healing process. It helps us cool off and before you know it, we’re laughing and the fight is over. Mindfulness helps us internalize this difference between reacting and responding.  

Companionship, being with someone is all about communication. As we turn into adults, we forget that communication is equal parts listening as it is talking. Bad listeners can never be good partners. The art of listening requires paying attention, close attention to what our partners are saying, and more importantly what they’re not. Sometimes silence is the biggest indication of something going wrong. But we never notice this silence, to notice it requires us to be present in the moment. To be fully committed to the now. This is where mindfulness plays a crucial role. It helps us be present. While we might be physically close mindfulness helps us commit mentally and emotionally to the time we spend with our close ones. As we become more aware, more focused on them we start noticing these small cues. We become better listeners, better partners, and lovers.

The next time your partner wants to vent about their boss, their colleague, or family member, instead of zoning out or drifting away use mindfulness to focus on their conversation. Be there for them in ways you always took for granted. When we truly listen, we empathize and when we empathize, we respond better. Mindfulness helps us and our partners move into a ‘we’ paradigm. It creates a true collaboration that is built on equal give and take and is interdependent. It forges and nurtures a sense of integrated selves without losing our identities. It helps build a mature relationship that can survive fights, challenges, and apathy.  

Maintaining a regular mindfulness practice enhances our capacity for compassion and security. When we become more forgiving and flexible, we allow our partners to blossom in their true form and nature. We let go of the overwhelming need to control or turn them into our version of their self. Mindfulness enables us to evolve our companionship from a bedrock of compromise to that of collaboration. We retain the best parts of ourselves while communicating openly that which we require from each other. It is a liberating freedom to be mindfully aware of all those things that our companions give us. To be grateful to them for making us whole and in turn to strive to make them whole.  

It is not often that love finds its way into our lives. Mindfulness can make it easier to hold onto that love in all its many myriad forms and wonderful memories. It helps us become better people on our own and with our companions. If you’re looking for a gift this valentine’s day why not gift your partner a better, more aware, you. Fewer things would mean more to them.  

blog

A mindful partnership: Turning me into we

Article by
Written on 2021-02-08T11:58:49+00:00

Relationships are fragile. The great poet Kabir says the thread of love if once broken is hard to join and even if it is, a knot always remains. But as anyone who has been in a long-term relationship can attest fighting is an inevitable part of it. Often fights begin with really small things, petty quarrels that then escalate into major arguments. At one point neither party can remember what the original tussle was all about and it’s too late to back down. Our egos are at stake now. This is where mindfulness acts as a gamechanger for relationships.  

Mindfulness eliminates escalation by helping us take a pause. A pause helps us evaluate our default response which comes from a defensive place and instead it helps us respond from a place of detachment and empathy. Instead of going, “Oh, you always do this…” mindfulness helps us realize, “Oh, you’ve had a terrible day, but let’s not ruin our evening.” This itself is a powerful healing process. It helps us cool off and before you know it, we’re laughing and the fight is over. Mindfulness helps us internalize this difference between reacting and responding.  

Companionship, being with someone is all about communication. As we turn into adults, we forget that communication is equal parts listening as it is talking. Bad listeners can never be good partners. The art of listening requires paying attention, close attention to what our partners are saying, and more importantly what they’re not. Sometimes silence is the biggest indication of something going wrong. But we never notice this silence, to notice it requires us to be present in the moment. To be fully committed to the now. This is where mindfulness plays a crucial role. It helps us be present. While we might be physically close mindfulness helps us commit mentally and emotionally to the time we spend with our close ones. As we become more aware, more focused on them we start noticing these small cues. We become better listeners, better partners, and lovers.

The next time your partner wants to vent about their boss, their colleague, or family member, instead of zoning out or drifting away use mindfulness to focus on their conversation. Be there for them in ways you always took for granted. When we truly listen, we empathize and when we empathize, we respond better. Mindfulness helps us and our partners move into a ‘we’ paradigm. It creates a true collaboration that is built on equal give and take and is interdependent. It forges and nurtures a sense of integrated selves without losing our identities. It helps build a mature relationship that can survive fights, challenges, and apathy.  

Maintaining a regular mindfulness practice enhances our capacity for compassion and security. When we become more forgiving and flexible, we allow our partners to blossom in their true form and nature. We let go of the overwhelming need to control or turn them into our version of their self. Mindfulness enables us to evolve our companionship from a bedrock of compromise to that of collaboration. We retain the best parts of ourselves while communicating openly that which we require from each other. It is a liberating freedom to be mindfully aware of all those things that our companions give us. To be grateful to them for making us whole and in turn to strive to make them whole.  

It is not often that love finds its way into our lives. Mindfulness can make it easier to hold onto that love in all its many myriad forms and wonderful memories. It helps us become better people on our own and with our companions. If you’re looking for a gift this valentine’s day why not gift your partner a better, more aware, you. Fewer things would mean more to them.  

More Articles

21 Mindful Minutes a Day Keep the Cardiologist Away

Research has shown that twenty-one mindful minutes a day help regulate our stress responses.

21 Mindful Minutes a Day Tames the Emotional Rollercoaster

Check out the Benefits of Mindfulness in day to day life. Guided Meditation for 21 minutes a day helps to reduce the Stress, anxiety, etc.

The Importance of Maha Shivratri: The Non-Religious Perspective

p

21 Mindful Minutes a Day Keep the Cardiologist Away

Research has shown that twenty-one mindful minutes a day help regulate our stress responses.

21 Mindful Minutes a Day Tames the Emotional Rollercoaster

Check out the Benefits of Mindfulness in day to day life. Guided Meditation for 21 minutes a day helps to reduce the Stress, anxiety, etc.

The Importance of Maha Shivratri: The Non-Religious Perspective

Here are some of the interesting things that are associated with Mahashivratri and how they affect the body and mind.